Has It Really Been 3 Months?

Has it really been three months since my last post? It seems like so much has been going on that I have completely lost track of time. We have our new house now and we have been doing a ton of work on it. Lots of yard work like taking down trees, putting in new mulch, power washing, clearing out brush, hedge trimming, etc. Lots of indoor work like cleaning things up, putting things away, unpacking everything, etc. It doesn’t seem like there will ever be any shortage of things to do.

Aside from house work, the kids are growing up fast as well. We had a wedding to go to in the Southeast of the US this past month and that was a lot of fun. The girls were flower girls in the wedding and they had a ton of fun. Both of them are getting so big. It is really fun to see them grow up and how close they remain with each other. It is awesome that they will always have each other to rely upon for support. I don’t have a brother and my wife doesn’t have a sister so knowing that they have each other is really special for us.

My older daughter is having some temper tantrum problems though lately. She is very impulsive and gets worked up very quickly. There is no reasoning with her until she is able to come down from that state so it takes a lot of patience to deal with. Some days I have it and some days I could do better but I love her more than anything regardless. I know that I can always be a better dad and I am always trying to improve the way I handle these kinds of situations.

There is a very good chance she has ADHD and we are going to get her evaluated but my wife and I really don’t like the idea of dealing with it with medication at her age. We want to try and manage this as best we can without meds. Both my wife and I have other types of mood disorders and we do believe that medication has a place but it is not something we want to do too early or jump to without a lot of consultation. Kids need to be allowed to be kids and our goal is not to try and treat what is normal kid behavior. We want to target the behaviors that are really ADHD specific and nothing else. The last thing we want to do is become one of the multitudes of parents who try to medicate their kids into a catatonic state. I hope that we can find some good support communities around ADHD to try and come up with good ways to manage the behavior effectively as time goes on.

I think that is about all I have in terms of an update for now. If any of you have good ADHD resources please let me know in the comments.

Night Terrors, They Suck.

halloween-pumpkin-carving-face-largeNight terrors are probably the worst thing that I have to deal with on a regular basis at bedtime. The generally occur about 2 hours after I put my oldest daughter to bed and they last about 10 minutes. The most common time they occur is when she has a cold or is too hot for some reason. Thank fully this is only about once every couple of months, not once per night like some kids.

The worst part about them is that there is literally nothing you can do about it other than try and keep them confortable until the episode passes. In some cases the child can thrash about so much that they can hurt themselves so I routinely try and keep her from moving too much while not restricting movement completely as that can actually make things worse.

As a father you have to come to terms with these and it takes time because you will hear your child scream your name because they have an overwhelming sense of pure fear yet you cannot stop it. It is terrible to stand by your child and know that they are experiencing this feeling without any way to help them other than wait it out. For me, it took about four of these episodes until I finally came to terms with it. What helped me get to that point is when I would ask my daughter after the episode and she truthfully had no recollection of what had just happened. Once I knew she didn’t remember whatever that paralyzing fear was she experienced it made me feel a little better.

The last time this happened my daughter screamed for my wife instead and that was the first time she had experienced this so personally. She has not really come to terms of how to deal with it yet but I suspect it will come in time.

I would be curious to know how others deal with this type of issue when raising children. It is important that we share information about this ugly part of childhood that some kids need to go through.